Be Kind to Yourself
Be Kind to yourself. This is the first of three blogs on Kindness. Covid-19 is a very real threat and we all have our part to play in flattening the curve but the uncertainty, fear and panic are making things so much more difficult. We are all in a very stressful climate right now. A completely unknown situation in which we are all trying our best.
Maybe you are going to work and fearful you may bring the virus into your home. Maybe you are in 12 weeks of isolation and already feel cabin fever setting in. If you live alone I am sure you are feeling the loss of social connection. If you are at home trying to school/entertain children you may be feeling very frustrated or your anger my be reaching boiling point a lot quicker than usual.
We are all facing this crisis together, some definitely have it worse than others but even those who may look like they have it relatively ‘easy’ may still feel they are struggling just as much. We are all individuals and all have different levels of coping and resilience. So please Be Kind – to yourself, to your household and to strangers.
Most people are hardest on themselves. They have a high standard that they must achieve and berate themselves if they don’t.
Maybe this week your kids where on the x-box a lot more than you would generally allow. Maybe you didn’t get dressed for three days and ate rubbish. Let yourself off the hook, we have only been in lockdown for over a week, a situation none of us have ever encountered. We are all still trying to adjust.
We are bombarded with a flowing stream of negative news and many of us are living in a constant state of anxiety. Of course you are going to have bad days, it’s natural. The best thing to do when you do have a bad day is try to accept it, but tell yourself you will try again tomorrow.
By letting yourself off the hook and being kind to yourself your body gets to go through the emotions it wants to feel. This then means you process these emotions a lot quicker than constantly fighting them as well as being harsh on yourself ‘for feeling that way’. All self-criticism does is heap on more internal negativity and anxiety.
“Be nice to yourself… It’s hard to be happy when someone is mean to you all the time.”
Christine Arylo
If I am ever being overly critical of myself, I ask myself
“What would I say to my best friend if she was in this situation?”
I let myself genuinely imagine it. Most times I realise, I’m trying my best and I start (without intention) cultivating compassion towards myself. Generally this then starts to make me feel a bit better.
If you don’t want to flow with your emotions there are things you can do that will lift your mood instantly.
Exercise – even if you don’t feel like it this is a sure way to create some feel good chemicals. A 30 minute walk outdoors is a perfect way to lift your mood. If you cant get outdoors some relaxing yoga will have the same effect.
Gratitude Journal – you definitely wont feel like doing this! However by forcing yourself to think and write down things to be grateful for (and there is always, always something to be grateful for) you are shifting your mindset out of the fight or flight mode and into your rational mind. Strengthening those positive neuron connections in your brain.
Phone a friend – put the world to rights, for this you want someone who is positive but also empathic. You know who I mean, that person who always feel makes you feel better after you speak to them.
If you are trying to be kind to yourself and flow with your emotions and they aren’t easing up then its maybe time to seek a bit of support. Speak to someone your G.P. Look for reputable online help, there is a lot of free help online at the moment.
I am holding a free Online clinic each Monday during this pandemic, click here for details. Or click here to contact me.
You may also like to download my free Deep Relaxation Audio to help with anxiety, stress or sleep issues.
Stay Safe x
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