How to Live your Best Unexpected Life

Did you expect your life to be in a different place by now?

To be in a long-term relationship, to have a certain job, to be a parent? Are you struggling with living the life that has unfolded for you? If so, I specialise in helping clients to live their best unexpected life.

When we are growing up, it is natural to talk about what we want from the future. We start to mold in our imagination the way our life will pan out and yet for many of us this is not what happens.

These life expectations grow with us, and so when the expected doesn’t happen it can become very difficult.

Waiting for our expectations can be very frustrating, the future is uncertain and so we can not relax and enjoy the ride.

When those doors of opportunity close indefinitely this can bring on a grief reaction and a loss of identity. Now I know for some, the question might be how can you grieve and have a loss of identity over something you never had… I am glad you asked.

Our mind doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality. So, if you spend years imagining your future partner and they never arrive that becomes the death of a dream. The person was never real but that imagined future was very real in your mind.

In my personal journey, my husband and I had never been overly sure about becoming parents, however I think in the back of our minds we always thought they would be in our future. When that door closed, I felt like I was losing the plot! I was dealing with a grief reaction, but of what, and worse than that I felt like I was going crazy as I was in the middle of a massive identity crisis about not being a mum. All the while being aware that having never been a mum how could that be?

However, travel back to when I was a child and teenager. I like many would have had numerous chats over the years with friends about my future children. Their names, how I would parent, even having conversations about not wanting people to buy my baby the standard baby pinks or blues depending on the sex. These conversations are such a normal part of growing up. My imagination had been molding the future into my psyche most of my life. Once I realised my grief and the identity crisis were valid this helped immensely with the healing process and moving forward.

Society has us believe that the majority of people follow the path of education, job, meet someone, become a parent. Even for someone like myself who doesn’t feel the need to conform, and actually celebrates being different, this natural life path is always in the background. And although in every other area of my life I want to be unique, when it comes to a life path it’s hard feeling you are the odd one out.

So, when our expected life does not materialise what happens? Are we destined to live a second best life?

My answer is NO!

“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is” Mandy Hale

I may be travelling down an unexpected life path but just because this path wasn’t in my mind growing up does not mean it is second best. This is where hypnotherapy can be extremely beneficial.

When we are in our emotional mindsets we are negative… this is an survival mechanism, we always think the worse is going to happen.

We are obsessional, we not only become obsessed with what we do not have but we start seeing everyone who has what you want.

We become vigilant and the slightest signs that we maybe could be getting what we always wanted means we cling onto those small glimpses of hope only to be devastated again when it doesn’t materialise.

Hypnotherapy can help change your perspective and start looking to, and seeing the positives in the life you are living.

This is an area I have a strong interest in due to my personal journey of living my best alternative life.

If you would like more information on how Hello Positivity can help you welcome a brighter future and to live your best unexpected life. Feel free to contact me via my contact form or call on 07860374527 for an informal chat.

Due to current restrictions all sessions are online. I am looking forward to getting back to face to face sessions at  Nice Touch Treatment rooms when restrictions have lifted.